My Story

 

 

IT FEELS I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON MY OWN JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE...

LOOKING FOR A WAY TO RISE ABOVE AND CO-EXIST WITH THE WORLD AROUND ME.

    My story begins in Houston Texas in 2010.  I was running a business "Champions Sports Netting" under my father's company "Nets of Texas" as a Sports Netting Professional.  The business consisted of traveling major Texas cities, performing Sports Netting maintenance for Golf barrier nets, batting Cages, baseball field backstops, and baseball training facilities.

     I was making good money at times and "Living a comfortable Life" that was handed to me.  Yet, I could not help but feel a major void inside that I could not ignore. I still experienced overwhelming anxiety many nights where I could not sleep due to the constant chatter of my mind, pro-longed experiences of depression not understanding why, and I never felt fully fulfilled at the end of the day, even though I accomplished all of the things I set out to do that day.

     I could never put my finger on exactly what it was or the reason for these experiences. So, I turned to various pharmaceutical drugs, alcohol, buying "things", racing my motorcycle, or other various habits. ANYTHING... to feel "Alive" and avoid the constant subconscious anxiety that I was experiencing.

All of which, to distract myself from a constant yearning for feeling connected to something more than the rat wheel it felt I kept running on, lacking a sense of completion, contentment, and purpose. 

What is the point of it all?

     Then, one night in a kind of self-created hypnosis, I had a transformational experience of what I would describe as what the Buddhists call "Nirvana" and it completely shifted my perspective of "Life".  I began giving away my "Things" to those whom I felt may need them, quite taking on new clients, and felt compelled to "Slow down" by experiencing Life in new ways to feel more at peace with my "Inner self" based on what I felt inspired to do, instead of what I "thought" I "should" do.

    As fate had it, my father, having no point of reference to understand what was happening to me and noticing I was having a difficult time with my "New Reality" one day during a meet up for breakfast, decided to fly my sister to Houston to "diagnose" what she thought was going on with me at that time, because she has a Master Degree in Speech Pathology {Studying Human Behavior}.

     During our conversation she asked me a series of questions that I thought I had done my best to answer.  Though, at that time, I was fairly delusional and confused with what to say because my grasp of what I understood "Life" to be about was fairly foggy and uncertain.

I do not remember the exact question she asked... though I gave an answer to it that I will never forget.  The response was "I am pulling all of my Demons out of the closet"... not at all aware of what that meant or what I meant by it. {We call it "Shadow work" today, in the metaphysical community}

     Due to a misinterpretation and what she thought I meant by that statement... I had another experience that completely transformed my life and set me on a path that I would have never dreamed I would take.  My sister, thinking that I had "lost it" (Mental Health problems) filled out a "Mental Health Warrant" because she thought that I was "seeing Demons" and that I was possibly a threat to myself and those around me.

The result of this was, while in a deep sleep at around 2a.m., I was rushed by 4 cops that woke me up trying to pin me down and put me in hand cuffs to drag me off to the Psychiatric Ward in Houston... thinking she was helping me work through my confusion in that point in my life.

     There is obviously more to this part of the story. Though, while I was there, I befriended a Buddhist practitioner who was struggling from Schizophrenia.  After hearing my story, he explained that I had awoken my "Spirit" and that I was in the beginning stages of "Enlightenment" becoming aware of my "True Self" and the World around me. 

I was not at all a "Spiritual" person at that time. Though, I found an incredible desire in that moment to learn as much as I could, because I yearned to feel that state of joy, peace, and connection I had experienced that evening once again.  

So, I decided to take a new path through life...

I then took the only direction I could think of and changed my Lifestyle and environment.  I quite my business and vices, moved to Missouri to go back to college for Psychology and Philosophy, and relentlessly started studying topics that ranged anywhere from Personal Development: to many different Theologies, Natural Healing Arts, Nutrition, Biology, Quantum Mechanics, "Spirituality" in many various forms, Metaphysics, Mysticism, and much more.  All within my search to experience that "Connection to something bigger than my-self" once again. 

     Fast-forwarding to 2013, I had gotten engaged to a woman from my Sociology class, had a full time Union Job, and spent every free moment I had studying "Life" trying to experience that connection that I experienced that evening.  Then, my fiancée and I decided to call off our engagement 2 weeks before our Wedding due to a small dispute that brought out everything that was wrong with our relationship. 

3 Years had passed since I had that experience, yet internally, I still felt confused with the "Purpose of Life" and my place in it. Then, one day in a deep depression, I had a strange inspiration to try something completely new and find some way to travel the world to learn as much as I could to find a "Way of Life" that felt "right" along the way.  So, I bought a World map and started making plans.

      I did not fully understand the extent of how much the break-up with my fiancée affected me emotionally and psychologically.  Though, instead of going back to Houston to work with my father and begin the process of becoming more involved in his company, I made a decision to fill up a 72L military backpack with hiking gear and embark on a quest to completely break myself down to figure out who I am at my core and find a "Purpose" to "Life". 

BE HERE NOW...

     As crazy as it may sound, my goal was to tear my-self down completely (Mentally, Physically, & Emotionally) by hiking the Continental Divide Trail from Montana to New Mexico.  Then, to get on a bus to San Diego and hike the Pacific Crest Trail north to live in the wilderness of Alaska.  From there, my plan was to ride a train across Canada and begin a 12-year trek around the world.  All of which having no real idea of how I was going to do it.

     So, I gave everything away that I owned, packed multiple drop boxes of food and supplies to be mailed on a schedule to various drop points along the trails; and I spent at least a week researching the weather patterns for each state that I expected to be in at various times of the year. 

     I filled up my backpack with 85 pounds of hiking gear, left my job, my apartment, family & friends, and got ready to get on a 54-hour Greyhound bus ride for Helena Montana with not much more than 50$ in my pocket and no real idea of what I was getting myself into. I hugged and kissed my Ex-fiancée "Goodbye" at the bus stop, a few tears for sure.  And... I was on my way. 

    I thought I had planned for every contingency I could think of the day I left. Though, it seemed to play out that my entire "plan" fell apart (for the most part) the moment I got off the bus.  Because almost everything that I had hoped for, planned for, and set up to support my journey started falling apart within the first week of leaving Missouri.

Yet... none of this could stop me!

It is almost impossible to share with you the wide variety of experiences that I have had since then.  In an attempt to sum up the journey of my 10 year "Walk About" (A lot of different stories, struggles, insights, and experiences) ... I will describe it like this.

     I traveled back and forth through 7 different states on foot (not owning a car) and lived out of a backpack as a kind of "Homeless Wanderer / Bodhisattva" living in nature.  I have met thousands of various kinds of people, hundreds of traveling Artisans, and I have learned more about my-self and the "Natural Laws of Life" than I ever thought I would understand. 

     I did not do any drugs, I never "Pan Handled", I quit drinking alcohol the day I left Missouri, and I remained a clean cut and peaceful human most of the way as a kind of "Lone Wolf Wondering Monk & Vagabond Artisan" searching for "Truth" and a meaning to Life… in any and every form that came in. (Very much like the movie "Into the Wild")

     Today, I live a simple, purposeful, internally sustainable life and have transitioned back into Society, traveling state to state providing my professional niche trade skills and exploring the beauty of our vast country.  Somewhere along the way I found that connection I was seeking... and have embodied many aspects of what it means to "Live Free".  Living a life of my own conscious disciplined choice and a "Life" that brings "Meaning" to my experiences and goals.

As it turned out... this is what I have been looking for the whole time.